Nonsense
by JnnLuvsU
Summary: Formally Let Me Love You. My apologies to Lorelai the Voldemort Slayer. My take on what happened after the hospital scene. NTRL.


Author's Notes: My take on what happened after the hospital incident.  
Disclaimer: Words in italics are from HBP and I don't own any of the characters.

Let Me Love You  
By: JnnLuvsU

"_But I don't care either, I don't care! I've told you a million times..."_

"_And I've told you a million times," said Lupin, "that I am too old for you, too poor...too dangerous..."_

"_I've said all along you're taking a ridiculous line on this, Remus," said Mrs. Weasley._

"_I am not being ridiculous," said Lupin steadily. "Tonks deserves somebody young and whole."_

"_But she wants you," said Mr. Weasley. "And after all, Remus, young and whole men do not necessarily remain so."_

"_This is...not the moment to discuss it," said Lupin._

Nymphadora Tonks ran their conversation through her head and quietly excused herself from the hospital room as Hagrid walked in. She stood down the hall a ways until she heard the door open again and walked quickly out of the school and towards the lake. She couldn't believe how stupid she had been, to say all that in front of everyone.

She hugged her robes tighter around her; the wind was picking up, and sat down on a bench underneath a willow tree. _A crying tree_, she had read somewhere. It certainly suited her mood at the moment, but she refused to break down and cry. She started when she heard movement behind her, and she whipped around, her wand already in her hand.

She dropped her wand hand at the sight of the person behind her but couldn't suppress the hope that sprang in her heart. He had followed her. He had to have cared a little.

He walked silently toward her and sat down beside her. She could keep silent no longer, "I'm sorry, Remus," she whispered, "I shouldn't have brought it up in front of everyone like that."

Lupin sighed, "It's not your fault," he answered, "if I hadn't been avoiding this conversation, you wouldn't have felt the need to."

Tonks stared at the ground, "I love you, Remus," she said, the tears beginning to fall. "And I don't care what you say; you're not too old, too poor, and certainly not too dangerous."

"I know that you see it that way, but that doesn't change the fact that I _am_ dangerous," he saw her about to protest and cut her off with a finger to her lips, "And nothing you say is going to convince me to let that point go."

Tonks' eyes narrowed, "Fine," she answered, "you want me to let this go?" she grabbed his robes and pulled him toward her, forcing his face toward her, "Look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me," she said, "and then, and only then, will I let this go."

Lupin stared at the ground. Why did she have to make things so difficult? He looked into her eyes, "You don't know how much I wish I could say that. If it meant that you would move on, I wish I could say it. I just can't bring myself to lie to you," he whispered.

"Then don't," she returned, reaching for him, "Be with me. Love me."

Lupin pulled himself from the bench and out of her reach, "I would never be able to live with myself if I hurt you."

Tonks scoffed, "and you think this doesn't hurt?" she asked, bitterness in her voice.

"Don't you understand?" he said, dropping to his knees in front of her.

Tonks was confused, "I understand that you think that you don't deserve me, which is nonsense. I also understand that you feel that you have to protect me, which is sweet, honestly, but also nonsense."

Lupin cupped her cheek, "You have no idea how much I would love to hold you, touch you, take you in my arms and kiss you senseless." He tucked a few wayward strands of hair behind her ear and then dropped his hand, "what I wouldn't _give_ to have you in my bed every night." He heard her sharp intake of breath and knew that she had never expected him to admit that. He shook his head slightly at the hope that had come into her eyes, "but I won't give up your safety, Nymphadora, I won't." With that, Lupin gently kissed her forehead and quickly stood up, walking away.

Tonks sat frozen for a moment and then reality hit. He was walking away from her. She had to stop this. A few moments later she was standing in front of him, surprised to see tears in his eyes. He tried to sidestep her, but she was too quick for him and grabbed the front of his robes, "HOW DARE YOU?" she shrieked, "How dare you tell me things like that and then calmly walk away from me! Like I am nothing, like it's easy!"

Pain reflected in his eyes, "NO!" he returned, "don't think that!" He took a deep breath, attempting to calm himself down, looking everywhere but at her. She looked so beautiful with the wind whipping her hair around. He stiffened his resolve, "Don't you get it, Dora, you are my everything, and that's what makes this the hardest thing that I have ever done." He looked into her eyes, "But it is the right thing, you must believe that."

"No! I will not believe that!" He attempted to sidestep her again, but again she cut him off, "Listen to me, Remus. Ask yourself this, do you really, honestly want to watch me settle down with someone else. Someone who isn't you?" She pleaded with him.

Lupin looked at the ground, "I want you to find someone young and whole," he muttered, echoing his earlier words.

Tonks would not be deterred, "that's not what I asked. I asked if you wanted to _watch_ me fall for someone else."

His eyes shot to hers and Tonks could tell that she had struck a nerve. She pretended not to notice, "Charlie has been asking me out. Of course, I think that's on his mother's orders, but you never know, it could be fun," she rambled, noticing that he had yet to move.

Images shot through Lupin's head. Tonks and Charlie kissing. Holding hands. Falling in love. Getting married. Having children. Before he realized what he was doing, he reached for her and pulled her close, holding her tightly.

Tonks held onto him just as tight, a little shocked as to his sudden change in behavior.

Tears fell from Lupin's eyes and into her hair, "No," he whispered, huskily, "Of course not."

"Then be with me," she whispered fervently, "Let me love you."

Lupin let her go, "I could hurt you," he said, painfully.

"You're still trying to get out of this," she stated in disbelief, backing away from him, hurt written all over her face.

Lupin closed the gap between them; "NO!" he whispered urgently, "just trying to let you know what you could be getting into. Try to understand,

Tonks smiled, her first real smile in months, "I know. I can handle dangerous you know, I am an Auror."

Lupin took her in his arms, "That was never a question," he answered.

"I love you," she whispered.

Lupin threaded his fingers through her hair, "I love you, too," he whispered back. He brought his lips roughly to hers. She was a little taken aback and he put a hand to her back to keep her standing. She put her arms around his neck and became allowed herself to become lost in the moment. She had been dreaming about this for almost a year.

He pulled back a moment later and noticed that she appeared dazed. He grinned, "I didn't think I was that good a kisser."

Tonks grinned, "Think again," she said, and then turned serious, "Part of me never actually thought this would happen."

Lupin pulled her close once again, "I'm sorry, Dora. I shouldn't have pushed you away."

Tonks buried her face in his shirt, inhaling his scent, "Just don't ever do it again."

Lupin dropped a kiss in her hair, miraculously pink once again, "I won't," he replied.

She smiled and took his hand and they walked back toward the castle together.


End file.
